Sunday, December 6, 2009

New age pressure leads to suicide

Asian Age Uma Devarajan | Hyderabad

Family suicide pacts seem to have become a new but dangerous trend. Three women from a family at LB Nagar in Hyderabad died and the fourth is battling for her life after they all consumed pesticide a couple of days ago. Another family from Karimnagar also made a similar pact, ostensibly due to harassment of their teenage daughter by eve-teasers. The mother and daughter died after ingesting poison, while the father is undergoing treatment. Bangalore newspapers reported a family suicide case too.

Family suicide pacts seem to have become a new but dangerous trend. Three women from a family at LB Nagar in Hyderabad died and the fourth is battling for her life after they all consumed pesticide a couple of days ago.....

Why are families becoming so desperate? Delhi-based psychotherapist Suneel Vatsyayan says, "We are a society in transition, particularly in metro or semi-urban areas. These changes are so fast that there is a contradiction between the values learnt in childhood and current values." Dr Vijay Marulkar, head of Sociology Department, SNDT University, Mumbai, also agrees with the above view....
Such desperation faced by an entire family leaves behind more questions than answers. Have we as a society become so intolerant towards failure? "In the name of confidence building, one is shown that everything is possible, without being giving the ability to face the reality," says Mr. Vatsyayan.

What can one do when there is no one to turn to? He adds, "Contradictions lie within ourselves and we would need to develop coping skills. We would need to de-learn certain lessons, learn new ones and re-learn our spiritual values."...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Split Wide Open: Archives, Hindustan Times Thursday 8 September 2005



With marriages breaking up faster than you can say ‘I do” it seems that the trend of divorces is here to stay Jairaj Singh HT City Thursday 8 September 2005

Blind love alley?
……Blind love leads to make hasty marriages. In the wake, many youngsters fail to foresee what the future has in store. Says marriage counselor Suneel Vatsyayan. Most clients I see are in their early stages of marriage. They under go a crisis as they are unable to cope with trivial issues, and the romance ebbs….

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Suneel Vatsyayan suggests that children should be encouraged to make their own journeys. "Discuss the risks and be there with them as they get a taste

Celeb parents strike right note
Uma Devarajan
Raising children is a path full of trials and and elations. Into each parent’s life comes the instant when a passing remark from the "child" brings realisation that he or she is now an independent, self-reliant individual. The moment is usually a defining one.
Just wishing for independent, responsible children is not enough, though. "Values have to be inculcated from day one. Don’t think that your child will learn when he grows up," says Delhi-based psychotherapist Suneel Vatsyayan.
Monica Burman, wife of Dabur India chairman V.C. Burman, agrees. "Emotional support and tact in dealing with sensitive issues is very important. Make them feel that you are always there for them," she says.
Coping with a child’s independence can be a bittersweet experience. It can at once be a source of immense pride and regret that the child is no longer within one’s protective circle. And knowing that your child is on the right track can make up for all the heartache that parenting can bring.
Former actress Neetu Singh is proud about the fact that her children remain simple at heart. "Riddhima and Ranbir have turned out to be beautiful human beings. I think humility and the way you are with people is so important," says Neetu. She is immensely pleased that they are now grown up enough for her to ask their opinion. "It gives them the confidence to solve my problems, and it also gives me the satisfaction of having brought them up well," she adds.
Independence can mean many things — the ability to make your own decisions, assume responsibilities, or earn for yourself. The process is not without its pitfalls.
Suneel Vatsyayan suggests that children should be encouraged to make their own journeys. "Discuss the risks and be there with them as they get a taste of what they are craving for," he says. Agrees singer Udit Narayan, "My wife Deepa made our son Aditya understand that no matter how famous his father is he should make a mark in his own right. He couldn’t get the love that he deserved from me when he was young because I was so busy establishing myself, but he understood this even at a very young age. Aditya saw me as a self-made man and he has become hardworking himself."
The right combination of love, support, trust and discipline is said to be the mantra to follow.


Monday, April 27, 2009

The Asian Age:Similar traits help forge bonds: Study



....Relationship counsellor, Suneel Vatsyayan gives a different perspective and says that there is a difference between compromise and commonality. "Compromise is a kind of sacrifice made by a person for his partner whereas commonality is a similarity of thoughts between two people. A person looks for a partner because he is incomplete. But when it comes to intimacy and marriage, it becomes hard for couples with different perspectives to take things forward. But on the contrary, arranged marriages are said to be long lasting as compared to love marriages," he concludes.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Woman & Drugs

"Substance abuse shouldn't be looked at in isolation," says Suneel Vatsyayan, psychotherapist and chairperson, Nada India Foundation, explaining that a number of causative factors, especially low self-esteem, lead to drug dependence. The UNODC study confirms it. A majority of the subjects interviewed for the report indicated lack of confidence, poor goal orientation, a lack of trust and contentment with self and others. "The perception among women who do drugs is that 'even if I die, nothing will happen'. They don't realise that they are not abusing the substance;it is their own self that is being abused," Vatsyayan adds.....http://www.unodc.org/india/en/womanondrugs.html

Friday, January 16, 2009

Ten awful things to say in bed!15 Jan 2009, 0800 hrs IST, MONIKA RAWAL

....Suneel Vatsyayan, relationship counselor asserts, "Sex is to be enjoyed in the present and if any partner thinks about impending things from past or future, it would act as disruption. Saying anything outside your bedroom conversations will become a deviation. Your partner might feel offended and unloved. Understand the fact that your partner will not accept anything outside your intimacy, to enter your isolated sexual moments, and hence such intrusion is highly opposed." Top 10 things that couples must avoid saying in bed: ...
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3967560.cms