Saturday, August 8, 2009

Suneel Vatsyayan suggests that children should be encouraged to make their own journeys. "Discuss the risks and be there with them as they get a taste

Celeb parents strike right note
Uma Devarajan
Raising children is a path full of trials and and elations. Into each parent’s life comes the instant when a passing remark from the "child" brings realisation that he or she is now an independent, self-reliant individual. The moment is usually a defining one.
Just wishing for independent, responsible children is not enough, though. "Values have to be inculcated from day one. Don’t think that your child will learn when he grows up," says Delhi-based psychotherapist Suneel Vatsyayan.
Monica Burman, wife of Dabur India chairman V.C. Burman, agrees. "Emotional support and tact in dealing with sensitive issues is very important. Make them feel that you are always there for them," she says.
Coping with a child’s independence can be a bittersweet experience. It can at once be a source of immense pride and regret that the child is no longer within one’s protective circle. And knowing that your child is on the right track can make up for all the heartache that parenting can bring.
Former actress Neetu Singh is proud about the fact that her children remain simple at heart. "Riddhima and Ranbir have turned out to be beautiful human beings. I think humility and the way you are with people is so important," says Neetu. She is immensely pleased that they are now grown up enough for her to ask their opinion. "It gives them the confidence to solve my problems, and it also gives me the satisfaction of having brought them up well," she adds.
Independence can mean many things — the ability to make your own decisions, assume responsibilities, or earn for yourself. The process is not without its pitfalls.
Suneel Vatsyayan suggests that children should be encouraged to make their own journeys. "Discuss the risks and be there with them as they get a taste of what they are craving for," he says. Agrees singer Udit Narayan, "My wife Deepa made our son Aditya understand that no matter how famous his father is he should make a mark in his own right. He couldn’t get the love that he deserved from me when he was young because I was so busy establishing myself, but he understood this even at a very young age. Aditya saw me as a self-made man and he has become hardworking himself."
The right combination of love, support, trust and discipline is said to be the mantra to follow.